The Dream Campaign

In which Bravo becomes Princess Bithia

We slew a giant crow creature, and met TF the Assassin (Nick).

We found a naked gnome in a fancy box. He screams a lot. Thoradin tied him up and started carrying him around (it latter turned out that his screaming was some sort of language… I guess).

We met an old man who asked us a riddle. He offered Bravo a job and Bravo accepted but needed to talk to Maze first.

We found a room with lots of holes in a wall that has dart holes in another wall. A progressively greater number of skeletons kept appearing and attacking us between each attempt to solve the puzzle of the room. Eventually we solved the room and got out of it.

We eventually found Maze in a room at the top of the tower with Zanne.

Maze told Bravo how the universe came to be:

  • The primal energy was the origin of primordial and deities
  • the primal energy is the prime mover that he has been searching for
  • when Bravo asked where he could find primal energy Maze said ‘maybe the void
  • then when Bravo asked how to get to the void Maze said he should worship chickens

When Bravo asked if he will help with the war against the mortal realm

  • bring the prophet (Random) to the great church
  • then when we touch the idol on the alter, aid will come
  • some call the great church the original church, it’s on Zanne’s map

Bravo ate a plant from the lost garden of the gnomes (Maze gave it to him) and:

  • learned the secret language of the gnomes
  • from now on gnomes think that he’s actually just a giant gnome

Maze made Bravo’s Dragon Snapdragon golden:

  • Bravo instantly gains the respect of all hat makers he ever encounters

Bravo bought the gnome kid from Thoradin for 6 platinum pieces and then was able to talk to him and gave him a hat and some clothes. The gnome kid calls Bravo his father. He is 9 years old, he didn’t have a name so I named him Moses.

Maze commanded Thoradin to obey Zanne’s commands, know his place, and respect his companions.

Thoradin asked Maze to trade his life for Zanne’s life (like, trade his life so that Maze would kill Zanne).
Maze said that he liked Zanne and that if Thoradin kills her he will “torment your soul for the rest of eternity”

Thoradin turns, yells “Worth it!” slammed his hammer into Zanne’s face. She died, Maze turned Thoradin into a scarecrow and put him in a room full of crows who are worshiping a giant crow statue. The crows peck out his eyes and torture him, and each day he is restored to be tortured again.

Maze also took Thoradin’s possessions (which presumably includes the Rusty Fork).

[the scarecrow earlier found this room and got pulled out of it. He will spend the rest of time searching for it again.]

Bravo talked with Maze for ten days and ten nights.

During which Bravo taught Moses the family rules.

In the District of Madness

As synostotical bones are fated to be together, our adventurers were joined by a scarecrow as they arrived at Maze’s domain.

We slay a group of those squid head guys.

After entering they find a room with a giant Ruby!

The undelayable scarecrow grabs it, but in doing so he triggers a trap!

Working together, the meanie lady (Zanne), Thoradin, and Bravo eventually manage to deactivate the trap!

Do not cry, your hankey need not be used, for though this story ends here, soon there will be another story to be told of the deeds of our slapdashering “heroes”!


The Promises of General Chang and the Knowledge of Elron

In the Astral Domain of Jorjy

We discuss things with a soul thingy in Jorjy’s icy palace.

Then we meet General Chang in a tactical room, looking over a map of the Fey. We (Wily) asked him for aid in the coming war. Chang promises, soldiers, icy dragons, precisely controlled snow storms.

He reveals the existence of various islands surrounding the continent on which the Dravidian Empire is based.

some stuff we learned

  • There is a kingdom in the deserts of someplace that learned to fight by using the sand.
  • The South Western island is mostly tribal, but is very close to the main continent.

Our plan:

  • A two pronged assault, from the Mournlands in the south east and then mountains in the north west (from which we will conquer the river to forge a foothold).

Wily then promises to get back to Chang with more information soon.

Change then promises to muster a million troops to bring to the cause. Between different planes, demons, devils. Including hundreds of dragons.

Chang then gave us some information on how to locate Elron.

Bravo collected some ordinary flowers from the Astral Domain, but could not take its special flowers. He also tried to talk to the gnomes who were there and asked them about the Lost Garden of the Gnomes. The Gnomes did not want to tell Bravo about their garden, they questioned his right to ask about it and generally were not happy with him.

Then we hunted polar bears! And convinced one to come with us by beating it up until it surrendered (Tethys is training it to do stuff).

Then we ship off, and then run into an abyssal storm where we run into a Githyanki ship.

Then we find the way to the center of the storm and find Elron, and then we fight a Beholder who was following us.

There’s a very important temple in the mortal realm, Elron gave meanie lady (Zanne) a map with a red mark showing the location of the temple.

He told her that If she breaks the icon that is located there, it should break most of the divine flow in the mortal realm. Thanatos is likely to just like walk through.

We start heading off to visit Thanatos, but then consider visiting Maze instead.

We end up splitting up into two groups, Thoradin, meanie lady, and Captain Bravo head off in the Jenny 2. While Tethys, Wily, and the Polar Bear head off to Thanatos.

And we head off into the sunset.


We arrive in the Fey Courts.

Wily goes to meet the vampire lord Vger. He asks for information about the Mournlands. [Something about the book of vile darkness]. Turns out a man named Elron has the book.

Wily visited Gowron of the Gifted Beard, a noted wizard man. He’s a dwarf with a gold beard. Gowron figured out that Elron is standing near the Crystal Spire’s… [reflection?] on the Astral Sea.

Graf Aubfbn? Auburn? Aubryn?

Bravo hung out with the gnomes in the Fey Courts for awhile, and bought two plants, one Dragony Snap Dragon plant (that he’s wearing as a hat) and one that played violin music. He intends to give them to the Rose King. He was drunk-ish at the time.

Bravo discovered that the Lost Garden Gnomes is not a type of gnome but rather is the gnomes’ Lost Garden. According to some lady in the Fey Courts.

We got on the Astral Skiff of Captain Graf. While sailing through the Astral Sea we were set upon by Qalm raiders [or some such thing].

A devil appeared who had apparently forged a contract with Captain Graf. During the raid some of the stuff the goods the ship was transporting were damaged. We held a discussion with the devil and convinced him to leave Captain Graf his ship and his soul.

Then we immediately regretted the decision cause he’s a poo-poo head.

Then we arrived in some city located near the Nine Hells, which is run by a devil. The devil was very impolite to Bravo when he wanted to take clippings of the nine flowers that grew there.

Wily purchased a Astral Skiff with various modifications and stuff.

We then went to the Astral Domain of Jorjy. We were walking up to Jorjy’s palace as…

Battle Royale in the Rose King's Palace Royale!

Wily/Thoradin/Bravo/Zanne (meanie lady) woke up in the Rose King‘s palace’s lounge room that had TORTURE CUSHIONS in it. When suddenly they were attacked by foes!

The foes had symbols proving that they were servants of Bane!

loot from the battle with the snake head ladies
7 +3 cloth armor
6 +3 short swords
4 +3 rods

We fought a powerful servant of Bane on the Rose King’s roof, he said he was testing us and after battling for awhile he left saying we had passed the test.

The Rose King then gave us a gift of gold, he promised us six thousand soldiers for the war against the Dravidian Empire (giving us a total of ten thousand troops), he gave us information on several vampires in the Fey Courts so we can try to talk to the Vampires in the mortal realm (in the Mournlands specifically).

We then went to the Fey Court.

The Dream-Apologue

Bravo (Carl), Wily (Alberto), Tethys (Alberto), Thoradin (Bryan), and Zanne (Lewis) where within the walls of the Archfey of Roses, when suddenly they fell to napping and to them in their slumber came a apologue to teach them to eschew evil ways!

Zanne (Lewis) Carl-or
Bravo (Carl) Mesothorium Stage (Mr. Stage)
Wily (Alberto) Boba
Thoradin (Bryan) Elise
? (Nicholas) Hans the lusty hunchback
? (Sergio) Viktor

This apological tale of the vile wickedness of halflings starts in a large room where a large number of wizards were meeting for a big wizard party-convention-thing.

Mr. Stage saw the need for his talents and immediately attempted to improve the party with song and dance. The crowd did not seem to appreciate his music that he played on a shoe that he got somewhere somehow.

Meanwhile Boba was attempting to discover how they had arrived at the party. For almost no one in the room had any memory of how they got there. He found that an Archmage who was present in the room was responsible for calling them there, the Archmage said that it was his wish that wizards would work together and learn more things through the application of teamwork!

Then a number of halflings walked into the room (the exact number of them is known to be more than zero but otherwise it is not certainly known) and began celebrating the incoming presence of the wonderful bear Bob the Smiley Bear!

The halflings only needed someone to take an invitation the bear so that he could attend the convention, oh, those flagitious halflings. Terrible creatures are they! Liars and scoundrels and mongrels! Let this moral story be a lesson to any race that reads this, follow not the example of halflings for they are wretches!

And from there of course Mr. Stage volunteered to go and invite the bear. Various other people followed him for unknown reasons (Carlor, Bobba, Viktor, Elise).

It should be carefully noted that Viktor said beep boop a lot. Pay attention dear reader, this is important!

Mr. Stage and the strange group of people following him then arrived at the house, some goblins attempted to belay their progress but were in their purpose prevented by application of manly aplomb (which is the basic law of ballet).

Mr. Stage knocked on Bob’s door, but, Bob was taking a nap, so he took awhile to respond. In the meantime the ruffians who had been following Mr. Stage engaged in a fight with some other goblins who were about.

When Bob finally did respond, he dismissed the invitation out of hand, though he was pleasant enough. At which point Carlor killed him.

Needless to say, Mr. Stage was severely disappointed with the way this day was going. He went outside the hut and decided to wait for the ruffians to come out so they could follow him back to the convention (couldn’t let them get lost, they were clearly child-like in mentality). While he waited, Carlor went to explore the upstairs of Bob’s house (which was a windmill). There he found a young lady and a bear, he attacked the bear and it ate him.

When Boba realized what had happened he called Mr. Stage upstairs to talk to the bear, Mr. Stage did so, and extended the invitation to this bear (whose name was never learned). This bear accepted the invitation.

Along the way there were more goblins attempting to slow Mr. Stage’s progress back to the town. At this point it must be clear to you, dear reader, as it is to me, that the goblins were worshiping some evil god of slowness. These goblins were prevented in their religious routine through skillful ballet just like the others though.

On the way back to the wizarding party, Boba stopped at some halfling’s house and informed him of what had gone on. It turned out that the young lady who had been saved from the goblins had been sold to them by the vile and evil halflings. After which discovery the ruffians destroyed the entire town.

So you see, esteemed readers, there is no good to be had in evil deeds, they always result in the utter destruction of your entire city, and the despoliation of all your goods.

During these events, Tethys was following the exploits of a butterfly who rode on a brave squirrel (who Bolly was following) as they went off and adventured themselves off on their own adventures.

Wherewithin we ostend the praenomen of the topical to proffer au courant perfection

Our adventuresome heroes were wisely recessing within the recesses of their train when upon the door of said vehicular device there came without warning a somewhat great but really rather ordinary knocking, and then an answering from our illustrious heroes and then other sounds withal.

To list our heroes not alphabetically but with a mysterious pattern unknown to mortal minds until this day: Tethys, Bolly, Thoradin, Wily, and some lady who’s name I know not. And now Bravo was appended to the list of OUR HEROES.

and after some dawdling our heroes traversed into the dark place where souls go when they have no where else to be anymore. THE NOT SO BAD TOWER OF DARK DARKNESS! Or that other tower which is called the Crystal Spire, one of them I’m sure.

After OUR HEROES applied to KEH LEHM VOHRH for release of the soul of Armades, and Bravo petitioned for the enslavement of as many souls as possible, Kelemvor actuated the potential for the heroes to be at the bottom of a cave system which lay underneath his tower.

Then our illustrious heroes fought their way nail and tooth out of the bowls of the fathomless sanctum of things resembling those squid head guys. Then they arrived upon the surface of the gloomy tower grounds or inside the tower or somewhere and then Kelemvor said that fate had made its decision and allowed them to take the souls from the place where they were.

Then our izama kwakwakhiwa went about with GLORIOUS SPEED back to the caliginous city of Gloomwrought. Whereupon Bravo did take himself into the den of some noisome witches and gave them the souls with which they created a cure to the unpleasant plague that was afflicting Bravo and some portion of Gloomwrought’s swell denizens.

Meanwhile, Wily and our other dedicated heroes went about their business with an entity who shall herein be known as the Dark Lord of Dankness (who is actually someone else with a different name). They gave him the soul of his servant Armades and then he made their train able to turn into pure shadow.

Around this time Bravo met some gnomes in the city and challenged them each to a arithmetical competition of speed and offered some of them hats which some of them accepted. He also discovered that a gnome who is known as something or other knows things about the LOST GARDEN GNOMES. Bravo later found time to go and meet this man who is a professor at the gnomish academy which is located within Gloomwrought’s wrought walls. Bravo did not uncover anything however he did write the name a letter after leaving in the hopes that the professor would be more forthcoming through ink than he was in person.

Meanwhile the not-Bravo members of the party went off and did other stuff, then a man who was named MISTER STONEWALL had given a quest to the group to be done which involved creating a fake pseudo adventure for his son who at this point in time did in fact have a name.

And then our essential heroes did do this quest most nonaspiratingly. Whilst doing the quest they heard from a druid who had a name – and who they met when she was standing in a room – that the MISTER STONEWALL who was their (our mad heroes’) employer was holding in his possession a magical Arch Druid who had the power to restore the leylines to their former glory or some such. He or she also brought word that the wood elf nation were interested in helping with THE MEMORABLE WAR AGAINST THE DRAVIDIAN EMPIRE.

So that arch druid thing was saved when the quest was done.

But wait! There’s more!

They (our gnathic adventurers) then went on to the palace of the Archfey of Roses! Were they were attacked by a group of creatures after witnessing the Archfey of Roses acting peculiarly!

Then they took a nap.

Doggy Finds His Pack!

Tethys, Sir John the Eighth, Doggy, Thoradin, and Willy where traveling along in a train WHEN SUDDENLY the train came into contact with a big Grey Dragon who toppled the train and then beset the innocent TJDTTW with much violence despite Thoradin’s haranguing.

After many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, rounds of battle did unfold, a TERRIBLE FIEND came forth from netherwhere and did forsake Sir John who was his pactee who was so upset by this that he did then kill himself with a Rusty Fork which later passed to Thoradin. Then the TERRIBLE FIEND did make much speech with Willy who thereupon adopted its power and purpose upon himself. Whereupon did the previously written events transpire.

Talking to the Master of Shadow or the Lord of Shadow or someone who has some sort of title of that sort. Willy seeks a way to make the train invisible or give it some sort of stealth power I know not what.

Whereupon we did meet a lady whose name I do not recall but who did then join our party and bequest upon us to allow her to do so and we did allow her such.

He asked us to go to the Crystal Spire to seek the soul of his servant Armades who is dead. I believe we were seeking a way to revive him from the dead.

After which the group went shopping in the city.

Doggy bought a pack of 15 dogs from some shady guy there. He herded them back to the train, but one of them vanished along the way, so he went back and looked for it. He found it in a sewer being eaten by some scum. Doggy went and got Thoradin and then they killed the scum and Doggy took the dog’s body out into the swamp and left it there then went to sleep.

Introducing Mihajla!

Doggy, Teros, Tethys, Thoradin, and Sir John The Eighth traveled across the shadowfell, heading towards Gloomwrought, the City of Midnight. They arrived outside a large body of blocking terrain which was in the train’s way of reaching the city.

Teros then cast a ritual and brought forth a cold storm of snow, allow passage across the blocking terrain.

Then the tent of Mihajla the Djinni was found and entered.

And then the whole group placed bets with Mihajla

Things that happened as a result of the bets:

  • Doggy freed Colgrian the Minotaur from his captivity.
  • Random was given to Mihalja as the result of Teros losing a bet
  • Teros lost his freedom as a result of a bet
  • the Rose King’s son was freed freeeeeeed from Mihalja

Then the group went to the Fey Courts and acquired Willy as per instructions from Teros (in the event of his death he instructed Thoradin to go and retrieve Willy).

Then DTTTJ went to the Rose King and returned his son to him and then he yelled at his son and then his son ran off and Doggy chased him to his room.

and people talked to the Rose King a bit.

Saving the Freedom of the Most Glorious Conrad!


Suddenly, a door that you never knew existed is kicked down and a burly looking dwarf wielding a hammer bust down with it
“OK, I’M HERE TO HELP!” he yells, looking around wide eyed.

You see a tentacle start reaching out and try to wrap around the dwarf. He bats it away and lifts the door back to it’s original position. After some beating of the door, it disappears back out of existence
“Bloody Steve, always mucking about..” he mutters

“Where did that door one from?” The Druid asks

(in golden retriever form) raises his eyebrows… “Woof! Woof! Woof!” he says (Tethys hears "Hey! Hey! You’re a dwarf!) then he runs up to the dwarf and jumps on him and vigorously licks his face and beard

“I….I don’t remember…. Strange….”
looks puzzled for a moment, then shrugs and smiles

pets doggy n scratches behind his ears

“Aaaawww yeaaaah” in the language of canines… though… the body language kinda gives away the meaning

pulls out a stick


throws the stick

chases stick “IT’S A STICK! I GOT IT! IT GOT IT!”. Calms down “Okay stick, where are you? You can’t hide from me stick, I’m gonna-OH I FOUND THE STICK I FOUND THE STICKruns back “HERE’S THE STICK I GOT THE STICK! THIS IS A STICK AND I AM A DOG!” drops it at dwarf’s feet and jumps on him and licks his face again

picks it up and throws it again, farther this time

chases after itNOYOURNOTGETTINGAWAYYOUSTICKgrab it, runs backITOLDYOUYOURNOTGETTINAWAYSTICKdrops it at dwarf’s feet “I GOT THE STICK! I GOT THE STICK! PET ME PET ME PET ME!!!” sits in front of dwarf this time, looking up at him adorably

“So… Where did you come from?”

“Why do you have a stick for playing fetch for?” Tethys asks

pets doggy
“My name is Thoradin Stonehide. I come from the Iron Core mountains.”

“awww yeah”
Doggy seems happy

“That doesn’t explain the door that suddenly appeared out of nowhere”, says the Druid still puzzled.

“or the stick” says Tethys

THE STICK!” grabs the stick, walks up to Tethys with it
drops it at her feet

Looks back, puzzled at the door
“Well, it’s a long story, sorta.”
Puts away his hammer and takes a seat, making sure not to sit on his beard

“So, as you know, my name is Thoradin. I was part of the guard at the dwarven keep in one of the Iron Core mountains. One day, after a few drunken brawls and heavy drinking, I awoke outside the fort. I had a magical vision of a pixie floating above me. The young fey creature spoke ever softly about a group of travelers that needed assistance, and that I was destined to seek them out and leave my old life behind me. I was awed by the creature’s presence, so delicate and innocent.
Then…. I noticed that the pixie wasn’t indeed flying, but hanging from a rope. And I noticed that he was a bit big for a pixie…
The damned buggar was a gnome, and he was trying to make away with my coin purse! I roared in anger, headbutting the little bastard and then was ambushed by his little buddies.
After I sent them away crying, I decided to look over their gubbins and saw a book that intrigued me. Something about the Church of Apples? Anyways, it was fancy and had a picture of a fairy/pixie looking thing. That was twice a mention of that fey, it had to be a sign!
So I packed up my belongings and set off, in search of the thrice mention of pixie across my path.

Then I encountered your pixie friend in a market in the gnome underground. I was shocked, and tried to follow her but was lost in the crowd. Mighty difficult to find a pixie in a crowd"

roars with laughter

“But anyways, I’ve been following your trail for a while now. Not too successfully, mind you. I lost your trail after some strange business with a mountain spirit. I thought I had you then, because I had family that tipped me off in that city, but you disappeared again. I thought I had lost you forever, and in anger I went to a tavern and drank away my sorrows. Again, I awoke to a pixie floating above me. After trying to bat it away, I realized this one was real. He said his name was “Ruin”, and that I needed to run. I kept trying to sleep, but my bed seemed to be moving under me! That damn tentacle monster turned out to be my bed! As I was running, the little pixie spirit thing was floating with me, telling me that I had fallen through into the City of Doors! Damned if I know how. After running for a bit and fighting off the advances of the monster, I ended up at this door, or… least this spot gesturing to where the door was
Ruin told me that my adventure awaited through those doors, so I busted through, expecting some action! But you guys seemed to have everything under control here.."
Looks a bit sad to have missed the action

“So! That be my story!”
*Smiles jovially and takes a swig from his flask.

“So there was a gnome…on a rope…pretending to be a pixie?”

“Hey i know ruin! Ive been looking for him. Did he have a cat with him?” Says tethys

at the mention of the word cat Doggy looks at Tethys suspiciously

nods, laughing
“Those little tricksters!”
To Tethys: “A cat? No, don’t think I remember seeing one of those. Sorry little one.”


Tethys, Teros, Doggy, Thoradin, and John went down into the next level of the facility they were burgling.

There they found a dastardly Fomorian who was not in a cage and a mysterious Fomorian who was in a cage and some dogs who did not get along with Doggy. After killing everyone who was not in a cage Teros freed a pair of en-caged cyclops with the names [[Fo & Fum]] who were not competent engineers.

The party freed Conrad the Chicken. Using John’s escape magic they escaped back to the train. They then gave Conrad to Farlon. Farlon had completed working on The Train, giving it the power to cross into different planes. This power was put to use as the party traveled to the somber Shadowfell.



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